Political Gum Hockey

Political Commentary and Humor

The Koch Tea Party Picks the Republican Candidate…Romney Considers Changing Parties

Mark Blumenthal of the Huffington Post has an interesting article out today that compiles several of the recent Republican presidential polls.  You can read all about the polls and Blumenthal’s insights here.  There are two take home messages.

1) Romney has no chance of becoming president, and

2) The tea party believes that God is going to muck our stalls.

The first is the easiest.  Clearly the Republican electorate at this point is largely made up of people who say they are fighting to reduce spending and the debt when in fact everything they have been doing has increased the debt.  That’s really not their fault since it’s pretty clear there is a massive reality disconnect with the tea party.  In any case, the tea party lobbyists founded and funded by the Koch brothers and other Washington lobbyists like Dick Armey have gotten their minions duly whipped up against poor Mitt.  While the tea party has been writing off Jon Huntsman for violating Reagan’s 11th commandment (and the 12th commandment, which appears to be something like “Thou Shall not be Mormon”), the tea party has in itself been attacking Romney every which way, shape, and form.   With all this “anyone but Romney” attitude in the tea party, he only had a chance if the tea party savior (or the week) didn’t get into the race.  Now with Perry around, even if Perry flames out and leaves the party to Romney (the last man with money standing, and heir-apparent when that meant something to the Republican party), he is such damaged goods that all the Democrats would have to do is remind the tea party why they hated him so much.  Case closed.

The God thing is an extension of the fact that, outside of the Koch tea party funding, the tea party is really just this decade’s version of the religious right.  That’s “right” as in “not left,” not to be confused with “right” as in “not wrong.”  In fact, virtually everything the tea party says it believes in is actually not really true…and not what they fight for at all.  A large proportion of the tea party is still made up of bigots who think President Obama was born in Kenya or was somehow unnaturally born.  A large proportion of the tea party still thinks the health care law had “death panels” and was a “government takeover,” neither of which are true.  A large proportion of the tea party thinks that somehow the biggest capitalist economy on the planet suddenly became socialist on January 20, 2009.  A large proportion of the tea party thinks that changing tea bags for TEA bags somehow transforms a faulty understanding of history into being overtaxed (the Boston Tea Party was in protest of tax breaks given to the largest corporation at the time, and we’re actually being taxed less now than at any time in the last several decades…oh, and Obama’s stimulus and budgets have given tax breaks to small businesses and the middle class).  In short, the tea party claims to be fighting for what it is not, and claims as true things that are patently false.

Reality hasn’t taken a kicking like this since Robin Williams did Mrs. Doubtfire (Reality…What a Concept!).

Meanwhile, the tea party continues to claim they are trying to reduce the debt, while actually fighting to increase the debt.  The tea party continues to claim they want lower taxes, while actually meaning they want lower taxes on the richest 1% and the most profitable corporations – and have been fighting to increase the tax burden on the poor and middle class.

Oh, and key Republican/Koch tea party candidates believe that God created the East Coast Earthquake and Hurricane because the government is too big (but apparently God did not create the drought that has left Texas a near dust bowl because that would mean He is angry at Rick Perry, right).  The tea party seems to believe if they deny reality enough God will just fix every mess us humans make of His planet because apparently God has nothing better to do than follow us around with a really big shovel cleaning up our manure.  Frankly, that seems rather an unlikely scenario, i.e., that a Creator would put up with the kind of crap the tea party has been dumping.  But for some reason the tea party feels they can lie and punish those most in need while creating false idols of the richest 1% and God will just sit back like a fearful cuckold.

Someone is in for a mighty big surprise when they knock on the pearly gates.

August 30, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Tea Party | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment