Political Gum Hockey

Political Commentary and Humor

And the Three Big Primary Winners are…Santorum! Wait, Santorum? No, Seriously…Santorum?

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!*

Yes, folks. The sideshow euphemistically called the Republican nomination race of 2012 ran three primaries/caucuses Tuesday night. Up until now we’ve had three winners in four states (giving benefit of the doubt to Santorum for barely beating Romney two weeks and several lost precincts after Romney even more barely beat Santorum in the same Iowa caucus where the results are non-binding anyway…are you staying with me here?).  With Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado all voting Tuesday we could have had a Romney romp, or a Santorum surprise, a Gingrich Gain, or even a Paul Peripeteia.  Alliteration notwithstanding, this promised to be an interesting night.

If Romney were to have won all three states it could have meant the signal for all of the “I want to vote for the guy that wins the nomination” people to all line up like good little Republican soldiers and vote for the guy that wins the nomination.  Yeah, Mitt.

But wait a minute.  Santorum ended up winning all three states?  The guy that barely registered in the last three states? Really?  Wow.

And here we are.

Minnesota: Santorum overwhelmingly wins! – 45% (With Romney in 3rd place)

Missouri: Santorum overwhelmingly wins! – 55%

Colorado: Santorum overwhelmingly wins! – 40%

Thanks a bunch ELP.  Now this sideshow may never end.

*Karn Evil 9 by Emerson, Lake and Palmer

February 7, 2012 Posted by | Caucus, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tea Party | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Mitt Romney Wins Nevada Caucuses While Not Worrying About the Poor, Newt Gingrich Needs Your Prayers

Wow, what a week for Mitt Romney.  And what a week for Newt Gingrich.  Romney wins the Nevada caucuses but picks up an endorsement he might not want.

Okay, first for the wee little poor choice of words by Romney this week. And we of course mean the “poor” choice of words about not worrying about the poor.  Okay fine, the words were taken out of context and he didn’t really mean it the way it was portrayed by some.  But that doesn’t let Romney off the hook.  Not surprisingly, Romney’s intent had little to do with whom he is “concerned” about and a great deal to do with trying to convince middle class voters that he doesn’t represent exactly the kind of person/economic policy that benefits the very rich at the expense of the middle class. In short, he was trying to create a new reality to replace the one that isn’t so good for the middle class, i.e., the one that he supports.

Here are two insightful views on this topic:

Ruth Marcus: Why the poor should concern Romney

Eugene Robinson: Romney fails the empathy test

So on to the Donald Trump endorsement.  First off, Trump was “endorsing” solely and entirely as a gimmick to promote his reality TV show (is that still on the air? seriously?).  But what is really interesting about this endorsement is that Romney decided to accept it.  Mormons (Romney) have always opposed gambling, so hey, no problem accepting the endorsement in Trump’s Las Vegas casino.  I mean, that’s no bigger a stretch than Mormon’s opposing the drinking of alcohol unless, of course, you pay a $5 “membership fee” to join a “club” for “one night” (which, I’ve been told, is not a “cover charge in the local bar”).  That little detail aside, Romney’s acceptance of Donald “birther” Trump is sure to be a headline in coming months.  Already the Obama campaign has sent out an email noting:

“Yesterday, Mitt Romney said he was ‘humbled’ to accept Donald Trump’s endorsement. Seriously.”  “Yes, Donald Trump — birth certificate conspiracy leader — has decided that Mitt Romney’s his guy, and Romney has embraced him without reservation. He made a speech and even sent out a press release welcoming him.”

Good one, Mitt.  Embrace the buffoonish bigot tea party vote. That ought to help you with independents.  Especially now that the stock market is at highs not seen since before the Bush depression and the unemployment has been dropping as hundreds of thousands of jobs are being created per month.

Meanwhile, Gingrich is asking for prayers.

And he’ll need them since he is looking forward to Super Tuesday.  Yep, he’ll just skip Nevada, Maine, Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri, Arizona, Michigan, and Washington since they don’t matter (and he can’t win) and focus on the Super Tuesday states (even though he didn’t even make the ballot in at least one of them – Virginia).  Well, that certainly is a plan.  Sort of like Rudy Giuliani waiting for Florida in 2008. That worked out well.  Oh, wait. Never mind.

 

February 4, 2012 Posted by | Birth certificate, Birthers, Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Obama, Primary, Republican | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Donald Trump Endorses Gingrich…No Wait…Romney…No Wait…

In the never ending sideshow called the Republican nomination process, the tea party was all abuzz that famed hair piece holder Donald Trump would today announce his endorsement of Newt Gingrich for President of these here United States of America.  Now why anyone would think that a Donald Trump endorsement is something to, well, trumpet, is beyond comprehension.  But hey, the tea party reveled in the news.

It turns out that the news – like virtually everything the tea party believes – was false.

Trump is endorsing Mitt Romney.

Oops.

Yes, Donald Trump, the man who faked a run for the Presidency (again) and suckered the tea party into anointing him “savior of the week”  immediately after making racist comments, has decided that someone must actually care that he is endorsing a candidate for the Republican nomination.  And to make sure that he got credit for picking the right horse he conveniently waited until the horse was touching his hoof on the finish line while the other horses were still being dragged by their riders around the fourth turn.  Yep, Trump’s endorsement will sure give Romney a boost.

You can’t make this stuff up.

February 2, 2012 Posted by | Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Tea Party | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mitt Wins Florida – What Does Newt Do?

First off – Mitt? Newt? Barack? And they say the US isn’t a melting pot.

Anyway, Mitt Romney is likely to win the Florida primary by a significant margin today, with Gingrich a distant second and Rick Santorum and Ron Paul barely registering.  And with the next few primaries/caucuses favoring Romney while Gingrich is short on cash (other than the bankroll one donor has given to his Super PAC), Gingrich is not in a particularly good position.

But wait. Florida lost half its delegates by breaking the rules and moving its primary up, so even though it technically is winner-take-all there is a move afoot to have the delegate count split at the convention (needless to say, that move is afooted by Gingrich supporters).  Don’t forget the Iowa delegates are not bound by the vote and going into Florida Gingrich actually has 2 more delegates than Romney.   And after April 1 all the states will be winner-take-all, so if Gingrich can get a head of steam he would theoretically have a chance to overtake Romney.

And of course Romney could implode like all the candidates before him.

So Gingrich has enough to convince himself to stay in for the long haul, assuming he can talk Santorum into dropping out and he can convince the conservative wing that he can lay a mitt on Mitt if given the finances to compete with ad buys.

Stay tuned. This could get interesting.

January 31, 2012 Posted by | Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cain Endorses Gingrich – Romney Rejoices!

In breaking news Herman Cain is endorsing Newt Gingrich in the Republican race for the nomination.

Mitt Romney breathes a sigh of relief.  Begins preparing for the general election.

Think about it.  Herman Cain.  The man who dropped out of the race after a “lady friend” of his went public with what she claims was a 13-year affair.  The man who had several women file sexual harassment charges against him 20 years ago.  The man whose 9-9-9 plan would have raised taxes on the middle class and poor but lowered taxes on the super-rich, all while dramatically increasing the debt.  That Herman Cain has officially endorsed Newt Gingrich for the nomination.

The Newt Gingrich whose 2nd ex-wife recently accused him of asking for an “open marriage” so he could dawdle with the woman with whom he had been having an affair.

For those values voters who seem confused, let’s recap:

Gingrich’s first wife was his former high school teacher. He married her when he was 19 years old and she was 26.  One wonders when they started their relationship given Gingrich’s age.

Apparently bored with the older wife, Gingrich left her after beginning an affair with the woman who would become his 2nd wife, a woman who was 9 years younger than he.

Then, not long after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Gingrich divorced her to married his 3rd (and current) wife, with whom he had been carrying on an affair for some time.  This wife was 23 years younger than him and was a staffer in the House of Representatives.  So yes, Gingrich was impeaching President Clinton for having his intern escapades while Gingrich himself was actively engaging in his latest affair with a young Congressional staffer.  One has to marvel at Gingrich’s ability to compartmentalize in order to avoid impeaching himself for such blatant hypocrisy.

In any case, it does seem that Cain and Gingrich have some things in common, though it’s uncertain whether this is the reason behind Cain’s endorsement.

The net effect, of course, is, well, actually, not really that much.  After all, this is Herman Cain we’re talking about.  It’s not like an endorsement from him carries a whole lot of weight.  But it does help Mitt Romney.  Romney’s biggest problem is that he has had to cant so far to the right to get the tea party bigot vote that he has been hemorrhaging independent and moderate voters left and right (and middle).  With Cain offering to help solidify Gingrich’s extremist right vote, thus eliminating any chance of winning the primary in Florida or the caucuses in Nevada, the contrast allows Romney to start trying to track back towards the middle.

Or not.

Way to go, Herman Cain!

 

January 28, 2012 Posted by | Herman Cain, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Tea Party | , , , , | Leave a comment

Rick Perry Drops Out – Romney Heads to the Cayman Islands!

Tea party savior of last week Rick Perry is dropping out of the Republican primary race after being ignored in New Hampshire (and most other places).  His departure won’t change much as the three individual people who would have voted for him in South Carolina will probably split their votes between the other tea party flavors left unlicked.

But his departure does demonstrate one thing that is incredibly important – the tea party begged him to jump into the race because they thought everyone else was woefully insufficient.  That didn’t stop them for raising those same others up on a pedestal in succession, the pedestal from which they fell face first into the mud once people started paying attention to what they had to say.  Think Yertle the Turtle and you get the idea.   Spaalaaaat.

This is who the tea party picks – Michele Bachmann (out), Donald Trump (not ever in, but the tea party begged the tycoon buffoon to run), Herman Cain (out and hiding from several women, think The Eagles), and, well, you get it.  Throw in Sarah Palin and you have some of the most unaccomplished “leaders” in America.

Which gets us to Mitt Romney.  PGH will have more on him later, but the latest news from Mr. $374,000 is “not very much” for speaking fees (plus millions of dollars in other income taxed at only 15%) is that he’s a poster child for how the super-rich get to hide much of their income from US taxation by popping it off to a beach resort in the Cayman Islands.

Oh, and he actually pulled back his hand that he had outstretched to the person speaking to him when he found out the person was “undocumented.”  Ooh, cooties.

More to come.

January 19, 2012 Posted by | Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tea Party | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Huntsman Begins Run for 2016 – Romney Wins 2012 Republican Nomination

Jon Huntsman will officially announce on Monday that he is dropping out of the race for the 2012 Republican nomination for President and immediately beginning his run for the 2016 nomination.  Word from those “in the know” of his campaign suggest that he will probably not phrase it quite like that tomorrow, instead opting for the usual boring “doing it for the good of the party” speech.  But we all can read the writing on the bathroom wall, folks.  Do you really think we aren’t paying attention?  Jon Huntsman – 2016!!

In any case, Huntsman is pretty much in a bind.  He surprised everyone by taking Show (as in Win, Place and Show) in the New Hampshire primary, falling a mere 2 light years short of Romney’s first place total and a couple of clicks behind the chief “Not-Romney-of-the-Week” Ron Paul (standing in for his son, Rand Paul).  Notwithstanding this spectacular finish after spending only most of his life there the last few months, Huntsman faces the usual problem for thoughtful, honest candidates – no one wants to give him money to continue.  So Huntsman is showing how smart he is by leaving while sane people think highly of him, thus leaving a positive memory for when he officially starts running for the 2016 nomination.  Of course his unofficial 2016 candidacy starts today, but he does have to make a show of supporting his current party until it is safe to disappear (which should be less than a week). After that he’ll likely spend his time building his network.

So all of this means that Romney will win the South Carolina primary, something that he would have done anyway given that even South Carolina won’t vote for Perry, Santorum or Gingrich enough to jeopardize their “always vote for the nominee” pride day.  And then Romney will win Florida.  And then no one will care whether the other states even bother to vote since Romney will already be pivoting to try to make everything he has said to cater to the extremist tea party disappear from the collective memories of independents and other not crazy people.

From his speech, January 16, 2012:  “This race has degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of the American people.”

And of course, that is from Republicans since he’s talking about the Republican primary race.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night! *

* All About Eve (1950) starring Bette Davis

January 15, 2012 Posted by | Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Primary, Tea Party | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

New Hampshire Primary Shocker!

Romney wins!

Oh, that’s not a shock? My bad.

So even though they are still counting the votes as I write this, Romney has been projected the winner of the New Hampshire Republican party primary, just a couple of light clicks after winning in Iowa (if you can call an 8 vote – not 8%, 8 vote – margin a win).  Did someone say inevitable? Did someone say this months ago? Maybe a year ago?

Oh wait, there is a New Hampshire shocker to report – yep, Ron Paul will come in second!  Yes, that Ron Paul.

The reason for Paul’s surge in New Hampshire (and Iowa) are obviously due to his insightful and visionary ideas for the future greatness of America.  Oops, check that.  Mistook him for someone else.  No, Paul did well in Iowa and even better in New Hampshire because all the rest of the tea party nuts had already had their day on the artificial pedestal the tea party created for them.  Palin, Trump, Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, and Santorum all got their jet pack in the, umm, on their back and flew into the heavens…only to get the vapors and collapse back to Earth as soon as they spoke when people might actually be listening.  So that left Paul.  Who has been there all the time saying the same thing over and over (though not always taking the credit/blame for what he’s said in the past).  Ron Paul was ignored then, and when this “last man not stuck up on a pole to be eaten alive by the crows” falls back to Earth he’ll go back to being ignored again.  Of course, he will immediately be reincarnated as Rand Paul.  Wonderful.

Which leaves Jon Huntsman.  Huntsman made a name for himself this weekend and not only raised his standing to a third place finish in New Hampshire but put himself into the position of “the next white guy in line” for 2016.  Watch this space for more on Jon Huntsman after Romney officially wins the Republican nomination for 2012.  Of course, the 2016 countdown clock for Huntsman can’t start until after the November 2012 election, you know, just in case.

So we’re on to South Carolina, where Romney has the support of SC Governor Nikki Haley.  Then there is Florida, though by that time Perry and Santorum and maybe even Gingrich could have dropped out of the race and it will be an anointing rather than a primary.  Which should make the other 46 states wonder why they are going through the expense of holding primaries in the first place.

Then the fun begins – the tea party gets to show us all whether they actually have the principles they keep telling us…cough…that they have, or will the tea party vote for the guy they have been actively despising and calling all sorts of mean and nasty names?  And those are the Republicans doing this.

January 10, 2012 Posted by | Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tea Party | , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Huntsman Shows Class, Romney Shows He is a Corporate Raider Who Puts Himself Before Country

Jon Huntsman has a new campaign ad out today in New Hampshire.  It’s called:

Country First

The short video shows Huntsman responding to Mitt Romney during this weekend’s debates.  Romney attacked Huntsman for…serving his country.  Yes, Romney actually attacked a fellow Republican for putting his country first and not playing partisan politics.  Romney made it clear he is more interested in his own wealth and power than what is best for his country.

Huntsman shows what America is supposed to be. Country First. Mitt Romney shows what he is – Romney first. Party first. Damn the country, I want mine first. That attitude is reflective of his time at Bain Capital – the goal wasn’t to save businesses, it was to make money for the investors. And if that meant laying off workers and dismantling the company, so be it. They were unimportant to Romney – all that mattered was that Bain Capital and the individual wealthy investors made money.

And that is a very very sad commentary on what Mitt Romney represents.

See the video below:

January 9, 2012 Posted by | Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Primary, Republican | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Romney and a few non-Romneys Debate in New Hampshire – Winner Takes All! Film at 11!

Team Romney goes into tonight’s Republican primary debate with a ridiculously insurmountable double digit lead in the polls.  So Team Anti-Romney has one last chance to knock Romney from the thrown before Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary.

Actually there are two chances since there is also a debate Sunday morning, but the timing is such that it’s really one debate split into two parts, presumably to capture both the asocial people with no Saturday night dates and those who don’t go to church on Sunday morning, so we can think of it as a last chance for the Anti-Romney forces to get noticed.

So watch tonight for whether anyone remembers Reagan’s 11th commandment (thou shalt not speak ill of fellow Republicans). Forget that Reagan and everyone else broke that commandment, and a few others, so many times that it became nothing but a meaningless platitude.  In any case, more than likely it will be all hands on Romney.  After all, the only way anyone stays in the race is to knock Romney down a peg or two or maybe three so that they have a chance for a comeback.  You can betcha the Gingrich, Santorum, Perry, Paul and Huntsman camps have been digging sharpened bamboo-spiked tiger traps for Romney all week.  I almost expect camouflage face paint (not so much for Paul, as he really wouldn’t carry that look off too well).  So expect all the non-Romneys to go for the severe wounding (metaphorically speaking) in New Hampshire, then the (equally metaphorically speaking) kill in South Carolina.

The South Carolina whose Governor has backed Romney.

You see where this going, right?

Anyway, it really doesn’t matter what they say tonight since no one is really listening and the words are political pomposity anyway.  What matters is whether Romney comes out of the debates inspiring pundits to think “The Coronation of Napoleon” or “Le Mort de Marat.”

Depending on that result, the tea party will have to decide whether to prostrate themselves in utter hypocrisy to support the nominee, or actually stand for the principles they claim to have.

January 7, 2012 Posted by | Mitt Romney, Primary, Republican, Tea Party | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment